Many difficulties all at once. Some I have created my own and some God created. Trying my best to get out but it's been a though time. Peace is the only answer and I know it but I am losing it sometimes. Got to practise it to keep this life going happily.
Not a new problem but got it aggravated. My mom undergoes frequent mood alterations. Sometimes she hates me more than any one else. That has become a common scene now. She is my mom and I otherwise she loves me very much and so it does not bother me much but my dad...
I don't want to get married at all. The chances that get a good spouse might be good but what if I end up in a psychotic relationship. I can't keep fighting with my spouse all my life just like my dad. I being too emotional can't bear such a life!!
The best thing I believe is to help as many as I can and share some love to as many little hearts who missed mother's love. Probably that might balance my past life's ill deeds.

Why should I love him ?
For all who believe in love I say it's a trash. In most cases you are finally left with tears and nothing else.
Why did I love him?
I was doing my own work and this man came by, gave a delicate smile. I have never thought about it anytime before. I have seen many much handsome than himself and even much attractive. But none have disturbed me so much to that case I have never thought about any man the moment they are away. But he wasn't like that. He never left my eyes. Whomever I saw a bit resembling or having certain features looked like him to my eyes. I tried to divert myself but that was in vain for the more I tried to the more he came into my eyes.
Previously I was determined to do only one thing in life that's to try to be a social worker or at least try to bring a difference in some one's life and to bring happiness. My strong emotions have determined me to set such a goal and whatever I presently do be it studying or trying to get a job was all to reach this ambition in life. I thought of to remain unmarried and serve the people. I should thank God for giving me such a delicate heart moved by a tiny incident and that survives my zeal to reach my goal.
But I hate that very God who made me to love. This has caused nothing except left sorrow in my life. Sometimes made me to cry to that extent of dying. To all those who want to fall in love my advice - that's the most foolish act to do in life. It finally leaves you in tears.
God will never show mercy on us and hence one man has to help other to bring peace and happiness from the sorrows created by Him.

Life is a myth. There are only two truths in it - birth and death.
In this whole life of unreality we are bonded to many characters, moved my many incidents and quenched in countless emotions.
It is unreal because we no matter what happens do not accept its realities. Though we know that there is nothing in our hands yet we time and again try to change it. We are just characters in this great drama of the All Mighty.
Then why do we do it?
Perhaps its that hope that maybe someday that All Mighty might change our role to a better one that keeps us going.