The Guava tree in our garden. Actually it became too big. Due to a cyclone it bent towards the building. The other big problem is with squirrels. So small and innocent to look at but they make a lot of mess.
My dad couldn't hold it anymore and decided to fell the tree. That day when the tree is being cut down all the squirrels made so much of noise. Of course none of them have their houses on it but it was their favourite. One of the squirrels came to my window screamed like anything as if it was shouting at me and made a big hole in the mosquito mesh. Does it mean they too have affection to a particular tree and know the cause of its destruction. Do they know who is responsible for what? Maybe, I don't know? But it seemed quit unusual to me.

When I came to know that he is going to get married I was completely lost. I can't still digest it. I just felt lost from this world. I should have told him the truth but something says I can't. Now I suffer. I couldn't eat properly or sleep. the question 'What for are you still living?' lingers in my heart. The only thing that is making me live is my goal to be useful others. This soul is of no use to me let it bring happiness in those innocent faces of children and bring peace in the worn out hearts of the old.
I am still worried about him not because he is going away but he is marrying an American. I don't say it is wrong but most of such marriages broken. He should have chosen an Indian. Other wise I am scared that it would end up in a traditional clash. Hope he leads a happy and peaceful life.
the strangest thing is that God has shown His enormous grace on me. For years i have been loving him. I am literally mad about him. Everthing I do reminds him. Evertime I question why him he seems more supreme. Every act he does makes me respect him more. Even after this news I have enormous respect for him. You know why I said God has grace on me? Its because he has seen her just a month ago and decided to marry her. And my love for him remains shattered. This shows some poor beings like me will have to suffer and its their fate. I just want to ask God why He neglected me.
Actually this is not the way I wanted to be. Why did i become so weak. Even i can't write this blog. I am not able to come out of this. Why am I questioning God? Is it my fault or is it Love's?

Modern Satyagraha

This word 'Satyagraha' is known to most of us but we tend to forget it when the actual situation arises. Mahatma Gandhi - almost everyone of us know this great man from bulky history text books. Inventor of a great theory - revolting without any violence or ' Satyagraha' or to be more appropriate 'Ahimsa Satyagraha'. Many say he is a bad man. Some even called him ' Mountain of evil'. Whatever their arguments might be facts are facts and without him our country would have been drenched in blood. I think i can't describe better than in the words of Albert Einstein that ' The future generations will wonder if such a man in flesh and blood has ever walked on this earth'.
But what have we done to this great man. We have given him place on our roads but not in our hearts. You may say that our politicians implement Satyagraha. But are they really doing it?
Before independence our taxes, our earnings are not ours. Even while doing a Satyagraha Gandhiji never asked us to stop weaving our clothes. Satyagraha was meant not to cause any destruction of our lives or our property. Atmost that caused only a loss of income of the British government. But now this country is ours and all its property is ours. All our bandhs and strikes in the name of satyagraha are not true in the sense of modern India. What we are calling satyagraha in modern India is actually violence by our people against our own people.
Disrupting emergency services, causing loss to government money and killing people are the consequences of these strikes and bandhs. But who are losing? Those are our own people's lives and its our own property. But Satyagraha was supposed to be non-violent. Is Satyagraha inapproprqaite in modern sense?
In this modern India Satyagraha has a new meaning. It means to revolt without casing any damage to our people's lives or to our property. Then how can we actually practise it ?
Almost every emergency services have shifts and non working staff/shift can strike for their demands. But then you may ask how can it be successful and it is difficult. Yes it is difficult but Satyagraha was never easy even for its inventor himself but finally it was successful. And this is the only way. We can't let our people die at the hospitals because the government doesn't listen to our demands. It would be sheer negligence on our part to cause a loss in the income of our government because some politician doesn't listen to our woes.
So let's practise this Satyagraha again to make this country a much better place for all of us to live in.
Let peace prevail.

My Dearest God,

Everyday I pray but never have I asked. I believed in my hardwork but never on luck. I wanted to bring back hope in someone's life but now You left me to stand hopeless against the winds of fate.
I fell and rose many times in my life but has never asked for Your hand. Is that for very this reason You made me fall into such a great depth that I have no choice but to end my battle? When I was rendered alone I never felt this pain. When I am left pennyless I never felt hopeless. When I questioned myself of my future which seemed too vague I didn't feel this pain. When I felt that I had to leave the house with no money or experience in hand I never felt so depressed. In every bad moment of my life I always felt more confident but never depressed but now I feel the music of losing my life altogether. If at all You give me more life that would be lifeless.
I pray You kneeled to win my Love or take away my life for it would a waste to let me live anymore. Better pick me up for I am the fallen dust of Your beautiful sculpture.

Troubles never come in installments and sometimes heart gets too heavy that we can't bear to live anymore. But the inhuman fate demands to live this painstaking life for the sake of happiness of others. Maybe there would be no big change in the sad fate of this poor life until its last moment.

Kolleru Lake

Overview
Kolleru Lake is ensconced between the two major river basins of the rivers Godavari and Krishna and functions as a natural flood balancing reservoir between the two deltas.To the north lies the West Godavari and to the south of it lies the Krishna. It extends over 900 sq km and is the largest freshwater lake in India. It is fed directly by two seasonal rivers, the Budameru and the Tammileru besides 30 inflowing drains and channels. It has a variety of wetland habitats ranging from coastal freshwater lagoons to seasonal freshwater marsh es/pools.
About 7 lakh people live in the Kolleru region (10 ft contour) making its population density (800 persons/sq. km) twice that of the national average.
It serves as a habitat for various resident and migratory birds besides sustaining fishing, agriculture and related occupations of the people dependent on it for livelihood.
The lake was notified as a wildlife sanctuary in November 1999 under India's Wild Life (Protection) Act, 1972, and designated a wetland of international importance in November 2002 under the international Ramsar Convention. The wildlife sanctuary covers an area of 308 sq kms.

Biodiversity Values
It has a variety of wetland habitats ranging from coastal freshwater lagoons to seasonal freshwater marsh es/pools.

Flora
The entire area of the lake comprises vast plains interspersed with pools of water with a few tree species such as Borassus flabellifer, Acacia nilotica and Azadirachta indica, etc. The entire vegetation of this area can be classified into aquatic and terrestrial vegetation. It shows variation in different spots with emergent, submerged and free floating aquatic macrophytes.

Fauna
The lake harbors a variety of resident and migratory birds. The lake also serves as an important habitat for up to 50,000 resident and the lake is visited by an estimated 2,00,000 migratory birds, including the Grey or Spot-billed Pelican (Pelecanus philippensis).

Threats
A lack of regulation of the seaward flow of the Kolleru waters during monsoon is progressively increasing the high - flood line, causing major food problems in the surrounding cities of Eluru and Gudivada, besides submerging second - crop paddy lands and fish tanks. It was occupied by aquaculture and agriculture. There was no fresh water and even a little of it was infested with weeds. Massive quantities of untreated effluents from dozens of nearby industrial plants, raw sewage from several surrounding and densely populated villages, towns and cities along with rainwater runoff carrying dissolved fertilizers and pesticides are polluting it. The habitat of birds and the lake’s fauna were completely destroyed.

Measures
The local authorities have tried to implement some measures but that was all in vain due to the severe resistance offered by local people under the guidance of vested intrest individuals and politicians.
Some measures that could bring back the dying river to life include:
Clearing and widening of the Upputeru to increase outflow. Retrieve areas under illegal fish ponds and cultivation. Immediate stopping of release of untreated sewage and raw industrial waste into the lake.

It is necessary to conserve the Kolleru lake area and introduce management systems that would sustain biodiversity of the lake and conservation of the lake ecosystem without inhibiting the genuine developmental needs of the area.

For this moment I just have one wish - to hear your voice...
Your image fills my eyes...
Your voice resounds in my ears...
Your wisdom makes my mind to change to new decisions...
And my soul perceives your presence
Every time and where ever I go you are with me...and I know it...
But you are not here...
They say its a gift to have a place in somebody's heart... you have it and I don't.
To be loved is a blessing but to love without being loved back is probably the greatest punishment the Almighty can give for all our past ill deeds... for I am deprived of the basic independence of expressing my emotions..
My voice tears my throat but its sound cannot cross the lips...
My eyes weep every moment but are quickly stopped by the eyelids..
My soul is painstriken but my kneels can't touch the ground..
My heart awaits for you but my face cannot express that search...
Oh dear Almighty! What a great life I enjoy my outer feelings separated from inner soul's...life is just a drama !
And this saga of waiting still continues...